I was leisurely scrolling through my Facebook feed when I saw it.  Totally related to nothing associated with my daughter’s theater program, there was a posting that had been sent through my feed via “We are Teachers.”  Immediately, I saw my daughter’s friend, Elise, in a collage of performers.

Of course.

Elise always got what she wanted.  And, in this case, she’d gotten something she probably hadn’t even known about

I looked at the picture, and recognized some other kids from the theater group–a couple of girls who are older than my daughter, a boy who is a year younger.  I was just about to scroll past the picture, when I noticed a character out of the corner of my eye.  It was Cruella de Ville.  And the actor portraying the villainess?   My daughter, Claire. How close had I been to just scrolling past,  noting that my daughter hadn’t been recognized while someone else had, and bitterly tallying a score?

And then, when I looked again, I realized that I had seen this picture.  And the first time I saw it I hadn’t looked closely enough.  And I hadn’t seen my daughter.


Just so you know, that’s not my daughter’s actual hair color.


I thought back to the time I had seen the picture before, and I remembered that I had quickly dismissed it because of my own petty feelings about how someone else was getting recognition that I thought my own daughter deserved.   I thought about how many times I have told my daughters and my students not to let themselves be worried about what feels like unfairness when it appears that someone else is getting something that you’re not.  The opportunity to unexpectedly enjoy seeing my daughter doing something she loves had passed me by the first time I’d had a chance to enjoy it.  And, though this time I had the opportunity to see it after all, I wondered how many other times I’d missed an opportunity because of my own petty sense of injustice.






  1. Ellen · March 22, 2016

    It does reflect well on you that you are so protective? defensive? of your daughter. That’s an important role, along with modeling appropriate behavior! congrats to her – and to you on these wonderful successes.


  2. djvichos · March 22, 2016

    I really admire your honest analysis of this situation – and that you were able to spot the inconsistency.


  3. Brooke · March 22, 2016

    You’re a crazy theater mom. Crazy. Theater. Mom. 🙂


  4. Dana Murphy · March 22, 2016

    Wow, this is great. What an honest piece of writing! This is wonderful. I’m glad you really saw the picture this time. 🙂


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